"There's only one thing left to do..."

We've done it. We scratched and clawed our way to the last and final games of the 2008 season. Ladies and gentlemen the Bears are going to the Championship round. 2 out of 3 for all the marbles against one of our long standing rivals: Coppersmith's.

And we got there in dramatic fashion. Totally trounced and falling apart in game two of round two which took us to a deciding game three. With short memories we played a dramatic game of back and forth, pushed ourselves into extra innings, and won on a controversial yet deciding play at the plate to catapult us into tomorrow's finals.

We play for everything tomorrow. It's time to put it ALL on the line. ========================================================== The Positives: We're in the Championship.

The Negatives:

Not a chance in hell. None of it matters now. Everything up to this point is in the past. Whatever faults we may have had in getting here is irrelevant. Time to put it all out there and take down a team that I guarentee has already written us off.

==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Playoff Round 2MVP Award"!

The 'Cap is handing out MVP's for each round and then a Player Of The Year will be determined at season's end.

Round 2 had a shaky start but ended on the right side for us. While we ALL should be commended for our extremely short memories concerning game one, I'll want to give Round 2 MVP honors to Scotty "Draft This" Foster.

Showing up with an ear full of cotton and a nose stuffed with snot, Scott refused to man the bench due to illness and took his spot on the field. Playing like Florence Nightingale had was fixing his head as he played, Scott turned in a beautiful performance at the plate and some serious range and dedication in the field. The most consistent play in two very rough games helped position us to where we are.

Congratulations Phlegm Muffin, you are Round 2 MVP!!!!! ==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar Thoughts:

1: I still can't believe we're going for it all.

==========================================================

Other Business: THE FINALS!!!!

NEXT GAME: The whole fucking thing - Wednesday, August 20th, 6:15 Field One.

Gentlemen - you will never see a calmer more ready person than myself for tomorrow night. We have came a very long way and all we can do at this point is basically what we've done to get here: play our best. And be well aware that our opponent isn't going to take us seriously at all. I promise you they think this thing is already won. Let's show them otherwise, because...

"There's only one thing left to do....win the whole fuckin' thing!"

- James Buddy "The Time Is Now" Villani

Playoffs Round 1: Un"Chartered" Territory

"Boldly Going Where No Bear Has Gone Before"

Faithful Cap Readers, usually this time brings us a season wrap up but I am happy to inform you this is not the case. For the first time in team history we are forging ahead into new ground because not only did we eliminate our round 1 opponent (again!), but we decided to put ourselves 1 up in round 2 completeing a two game sweep. One game away from playing for all the Tribbles. "Number 1 - make it so."

Round 1: Bears 14 Vanguard 4

"The History Game": This match-up was so wrought with Deja Vu I expected Denzel himself to ump home plate. After being crushed just a few weeks earlier by our old purple buddies all we heard was, "You're not taking us out this year." Sorry boys. History has indeed repeated itself and for the second time in two years, we have eliminated Vanguard from post season competition. A brilliant game of back and forth whose complexity changed on a phenomenal sliding right field catch (from newly aquired and future rookie Dan "The General" Lee) that lead to an absolute unloading of offense around the sixth inning capped by a demoralizing grand slam from Jose "Phi GRAND Slamma Jamma" Lora, that required landing clearance at JFK, and finished off by an off balance, unassisted double play by Scotty "50 Takes" Foster .

Round 2 - Game 1: Bears 3 Dub Squad 1

"The Put Your Balls Out There Game": Facing the number one team in the league it was time to forget what we had just done. This was new territory for us because we hadn't faced an opponent of this caliber this deep ever. Normally that would be enough to rattle anybody's saber but not #44. With our offense jolting the 'Sqad alive by jumping out to an early 3-0 lead, Bennett "Throwfax" Beckenstein kept them scoreless until the sixth where they scratched out one run. But it wasn't enough. Although our offense didn't add any insurance, brilliant pitching coupled with flawlessly executed defense was enough to give us the edge.

We have officially gone where "no Bear has gone before".

========================================================== The Positives:

Soup to nuts to it was all spectacular. Lock down defense in all aspects of the field and game one featured some amazing hitting from our middle order. Jeff "Eat It Brunswick" Fennelli was a force to be reckoned with. So much so it was visibly noticable in body language and comments every time he stepped up to the plate.

The pitching was fantastic in both tilts and Bennett had two of the best games I have ever seen. That ball belonged on Dancing With the Stars it was so fucking good.

Defensively we were pretty much inpenetrable. Everyone did their job beautifully and once again a hearty thanks to Dan for not only filling a valuable spot in lieu of injuries, but for playing the position beautifully in some tough (sun blinding) conditions.

==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Playoff Round 1 MVP Award"!

The 'Cap is handing out MVP's for each round and then a Player Of The Year will be determined at season's end.

Round 1 was a complete team effort from warm up to the last inning of game 2. Therefore, it's really hard to pick a certain one individual when so many did all the little things a team needs to do to accomplish what we did. With that said, there are three folks I would like to give this to as co-winners and they are as follows:

Bennett "Throwfax" Beckenstein: It starts on the mound and when that falters, bad things happen. Nothing faltered in his performance. Anywhere.

Jose "Phi GRAND Slamma Jamma" Lora: Kept that head down and that swing smooth and basically ate whatever last glimmer of hope Vanguard had. Plus, his smile is damn contageous.

Jefferey "Eat It New Brunswick" Fennelli": The consistancy of the hitting in both games (and it was fully acknowledged you were robbed of another HUGE hit in game 2) was absolutely amazing. Please keep hating your new location and continue to take it out on the rest of our opponents.

==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar

Thoughts:

1: Holy shit. Did that just happen?

2: Buddy can't stop grinning.

3: Don't fuck with Karma. Hello 80th!!!

4: Buddy can't stop grinning.

5: Bear Groupies: Oh boy.

6: The General: Big debut's on both "fields".

7. Buddy can't stop grinning.

==========================================================

Other Business: I will let you know when we play the next game of round 2.

NEXT GAME: TBA

Gentlemen, I personally could not be prouder of what we accomplished. With that said, we're not done yet. We put ourselves in a fantastic spot to make a run for it all so lets use it to our advantage and pick up right where we left off.

Bears on three...

- James Buddy "We're Really Here??" Villani

Last Call! (Week 8 Make Up): Bears Last Stand

"Not Done Yet!"

Not by a long shot.

Despite the fact that losing tonight sucked big donkey nuts on a pride level, it did not matter in the long run. I am not just saying that just to ease the loss. I promise. It's true. As much as winning tonight would have been a huge notch in the belt of Bears history, it ultimately does not matter.

Hang your heads high and forget it. It is officially a whole new season.

Bears 10

Coppersmith's: 19

========================================================== The Positives:

Tough category when getting beat by nine runs so its hard to separate it individually. Therefore, for this section and "The Negatives", I refuse to do so. I'll cap them both in the same breath and we'll leave it at that - simply because, like the game itself, it doesn't matter and it's time to focus and look ahead.

Overall, it wasn't a bad game. Our opponent, unfortunately and despite their some of their douche-baggery, is in first place for a reason: they can flat out hit. And they did. Every time we came up to bat, we scored runs but the math ended up lopsided - they would come back, re-earn those runs, and then some. We had them 13- 10 in the bottom of the sixth with a good shot at a major upset, but like they had done all game, they answered with six more runs to make our ultimate goal a little harder. Unfortunately, we came up short - but not without a damn good fight.

And so it was. We're still playing and the only thing that game did was bruise our ego's a little and help decide our 1st round playoff opponent. In the scheme of things, I'll take it.

==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"!

This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, winning this makes a Purple Heart recipient look like a fucking Boy Scout badge.

And now, presenting this weeks winner...Tommy "Re-Tool My Vacation" O'Melia!!!

"Despite the fact that the final Bears game of the season meant nothing more than the skipper wanting to shove the hopeful win down the throats of the biggest cock gobbler's in the league, Thomas "There For You" O'Melia, packed is Jeep (complete with disapproving girlfriend) for the Adirondacks and headed to the contest. Shrugging off dirty looks from the dugout and a 19 - 10 drubbing, he solidly held his ground in the field and at the plate, and quickly (very quickly) hit the road immediately after."

Congratulations future tent fucker, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar

Thoughts:

1: A meter RIGHT out front!

2: Jeff's not done just yet.

3: Ken missed cans.

4: Slavin: Can importer, bitch ass early ditcher.

5: Back-to-back shots TWICE is not a good idea. I hate you all.

6: Yup, we're going "kitty-corner".

7. What happened post "The Skipper's" departure?

==========================================================

Other Business: PLAYOFF TIME!

NEXT GAME: TBA. It's playoff seeding time. I love that I just wrote that!

Boys - let the past be just that. Sure, winning last night would have been fantastic, but it didn't happen. So what. What's important is that losing didn't sink us and now it's time to look ahead and realize that the next game is what matters most. Our record doesn't mean Jack shit right now because we're one of the six that earned the right to play in the post season.

Let's fuck 'em up...

- James Buddy "I'm hittin' baby!" Villani

Games 13 & 14: A Big & Easy "Turner" Around!!!

"Nice pair!"

And what a pair it was! Were they huge? You bet they were! Were they sublime? Oh yeah. Delicious in the end? To the last drop! Did you want to revisit them many times and often? If only we could.

Am I talking about those well sculpted orbs in the photo above? Nah, I'm talking a sweep to put ourselves in the playoffs! PLAYOFFS? Did You say PLAYOFFS???? Damn right I did, Jim. Damn. Right.

Game 1:

Bears: 5

Big Easy: 1

Game 2:

Bears: 10

Turner: 5

Season: 8-5 ========================================================== The Positives:

Pitching: Spectacular. In both games but more than ever in Game 1 which looks pretty much like this: 3 hits, no walks, 1 run scored. And that run came uber cheaply in top of the 6th inning. Game 2 wasn't as easy, but neither were the hitters. Yet, #44 still held them scoreless from the bottom of the fourth on while the next category in this section turned it on. Bennett, you are a very big part of this years success.

Hitting: Pretty decent but more so in game 2. Game 1 was a bit of a struggle but a quick tip to John "Where I Left Off" Malosh for hitting his third dinger in a row (in 2 games) and getting us a quick jump in the lead colum. A few insurance runs in the fourth but still fairly cold. However, enough to get the job done. Game 2 is where the the sack needed to be lifted and it was. And it came late, but it came. Big nod to Scotty "My Left Foot" Foster for a 5 RBI night and a Kirk Gibson esque injured HR. And as much as I don't like tooting my own horn, it all started out of the gate with a 2 out RBI single from a ticked off manager. I guess I owe it to that pickle hugger from Coppersmith's for walking by during my at bat and being the bag of vagina cleaning vinegar water he is.

Defense: We won a double header, so fucking up wasn't a big issue. Major, major acknowledgement to Jarrett "I'm Ending This Fucking Game" Lew for the streaking put away out on a lazy (and NOT easy) fly ball in foul territory. Pretty much summed up our efforts right there. B.A.L.L.S. ==========================================================

The Negatives:

The Little Things: I yelled a teammate for making a mental mistake on the base path's and then I went right on and did the same thing myself. We're human. We fuck up. But we're in the post-season after next week and "the little things" can be the difference between going home and bringing it all home. So lets get each other's back, talk to each other, and listen to each other. We have one common goal in all of this: Keep advancing. ==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, winning this makes the Nobel Prize winner look like the retard who brought the volcano to the 3rd grade science fair.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Bennett "Throwfax" Beckenstein!!!

"He arrived on a cool April afternoon after being recruited on a website usually reserved for pedophiles and someone looking for a used rib spreader. Regardless, he weathered the competition and a new Bear was born. As the season comes to a close we were faced with two games that were of utmost importance. With a quick smoke (in the dugout) and some dazzling work, #44 posted 14 innings of softball magic. No walks, 6 runs, and a combined 9, yes, 9 innings of shut-out ball."

Congratulations to the first denizen of the West Village, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar".

Rob: "Holy shit. Look how short her skirt is! That girl DEFINITELY came out to do some Bear huntin'!!

Buddy: (Chokes on Natty Light)

Thoughts:

1: FENNELLI!!!!! (to the tune of "NORM!!!!")

2: Just who is going to see THOSE cans?

3: Rob G. picks up right where he leaves off.

4: Ok? Who was the genius who started spilling our ages? Nice move.

5: Lisa was good. We can return to 80th if 31st and Lex doesn't pan out.

6: Fuck you A-Rod. Still. Just for the hell of it you Kabbalah douche whistle.

==========================================================

Other Business: I got none again.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, July 23rd, 7:30 PM vs. Red Wagon

**LAST WEEKS RANT**

I hope you're all still reading. For those that missed it, the Red Wagon band of douche is still in full force. Upon leaving last night they asked if we had won or not. When we said we did, they gave a "Ooh, the Bears won. Yay!!" like they were talking to a three year old. It was condesending and they can fuck themselves. You have NO idea the intesity I am personally bringing with me to that game and I ask for the same from each and every one of you. No joke. I don't remember ever wanting to lay waste to a team so bad in my entire life. And when it's over, we are going to give them their little "yay the Bears won" clap. Right in their dejected fucking faces. Who's with me?

I still feel the same way. Let's end this on a high note. Not only will beating them bring us full unbridled joy, it will also have a big determination on our playoff draw. At 8-5 we are tied for 5th with Turner. We win, they lose, we get Vanguard first round. Now doesn't that sound awesome??

- James Buddy "4-7 Are You Fucking Kidding??" Villani

Game 12: Wipin' Out Whyos

"Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"

And smoke it hard.

Excellent way to bounce back after last weeks beating. Some of the smartest softball we've played in a long, long time. Put ourselves in a nice position for the few remaining weeks.

From none of it coming together to all of it working in the span of seven days. Goofy little game this softball can be.

Bears: 15

Whyos: 6

Season: 6-5 ========================================================== The Positives:

Pitching: Spectacular in this one. #44 stuff was dancing and the fastball was indeed fast. They had some tick-tacky hits and a few legit swats, but for the most part, nothing. Great location too.

Hitting: Wow. Except for yours truly (big shocker) the book is inked to all hell. Pete L (3-4), Scotty F (3-4), and whatever the hell woke John "I Know How To Hit" Malosh up with his 2-4 (two of them HR's) night, I personally thank you. But boy oh boy, how about that #15?! 4 for fucking 4 including 2 HR's, one being over the wall for a Grand Slam! Yeah, that's right, I'm tlakin' about you Jose "Feelin' Real Good!" Lora.

Defense: Certainly wasn't anything negative that I saw. Not enough to put it down in that category. The runs they did score they earned. We pretty much kept everything in front and the web gem "on my ass" plays from Scotty F are becoming commonplace. That's not a complaint! ========================================================== The Negatives: I like it when this column is small. See above. ==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, this award is akin to saving a buddies life in combat.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Jose "Grand Salami" Lora!!!

"Calm, cool, collected, and riding along side Coach on the 1 train, #15 uttered the words, 'I'm feeling really good'. Just how good no one really knew until he stepped up in the 5 hole to a bases loaded 1st inning. With a delicious swing that would have had A-Rod leaving Madonna, the brand new clincher said hello to 11th avenue. Feeling good indeed. It didn't stop there. Sandwiched in between another home run was a double and a single. Top that with manning a glaringly blinding RF (Hey, Charter's not putting up with it!) and this puppy was a no brainer."

Congratulations my Dominican Hammer, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar".

Buddy: "Rob's 43."

Fennelli: (No words. Mouth agape. For quite some time)

Thoughts:

1: Holy shit! John Malosh???!!!!

2: Slavin imports yams. Damn nice yams.

3: Rob G. Silent killer.

4: We're follwing Ashley to 31st and Lex.

5: The middle one was hot.

6: Fuck you A-Rod.

==========================================================

Other Business: I got none.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, July 9th, 7:30 PM vs. Red Wagon

I hope you're all still reading. For those that missed it, the Red Wagon band of douche is still in full force. Upon leaving last night they asked if we had won or not. When we said we did, they gave a "Ooh, the Bears won. Yay!!" like they were talking to a three year old. It was condesending and they can fuck themselves. You have NO idea the intesity I am personally bringing with me to that game and I ask for the same from each and every one of you. No joke. I don't remember ever wanting to lay waste to a team so bad in my entire life. And when it's over, we are going to give them their little "yay the Bears won" clap. Right in their dejected fucking faces. Who's with me?

I'm fukcing fired up and pissed.

Happy fourth girls.

Eat shit CopperQueers,

- James Buddy "Shot 'O Sauce" Villani

Game 11: Slaughterhouse 5-5

"Mama said there would be days like these."

And boy oh boy did we have one of those days.

Although we came in charged and ready, we face-planted something fierce. Worst of all it came at the hands of a squad that is riddled with some unpleaseantries. They just might have made it to Public Enemy #1, but we have yet to play the Copper-Queens, so the jury's out.

It was a bit of a stumble, but it was just one of those days. Top to bottom nothing really came together. Hey, it happens. Just remember, the same thing happened last year and when we met again, we thouroughly ousted them from the post season. Here's hoping history repeats itself.

Bears: 1

Vanguard: 9

Season: 5-5

==========================================================

The Positives:

Although I can't really put anything emphatically in here I will just give a slight nod to the defense. Both IF and OF did a fairly good job keeping everything in front and the major standout was an incredible play at SS by Scotty "Seat Of The Pants" Foster. Did it save us? Nah. Was it pretty? Fuck yes.

Broken Up Shut-Out: We all know how I feel about this. Call it a moral victory but if there was any satisfaction out of that ordeal this was it. I know its not what you play for, but hey, if I'm ever out-matched in a fight with a 6' 4'" guido, guess what? I'm punching him in the cock.

==========================================================

The Negatives:

Hitting: Uh, we sucked. There's three people with multiple hits and I am one of them. That's sad because, well, I am about as good at hitting as I am at performing triple bypass surgery. Nod to Tommy "Houdini" O'Melia for notching a 3-3 performance. Unfortunately we never plated one of those hits.

Base Coaching: Just calling myself out here. I made a decision that probably wasn't the best given the situation. I was admittedly playing to break up a shut-out instead of leaving bases loaded with our #5 hitter on board (who subsequently roped a ball the next time up). I was swayed by the two outs and the fact we had done jack squat the prior six innings. I will think twice about that in the future realizing I might have killed a potential rally.

Errors/Overthrows We made a couple of errors but that will happen. More importantly, I think we should hold on to the ball more unless we're absolutely sure we have a play. There's no need to give extra bases to anyone - especially on a night when we're producing next to nothing at the plate.

==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, this is an honor on par with the Purple Heart.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Adam "Never Seeing Those Cans" Slavin!!!

**This weeks G-POG eminates from that other playing field: The bar. Due to the fact that nothing really good happened on the actual diamond, Slavin turned in a masterful performance at the watering hole!**

"After five 16 oz. Natty's and some sweet lovin' Blackhaus, Adam "I Went To Tulane" Slavin made a masterful move on a young woman when all hope was lost with the rest of his teammates. He embraced the fact that her neck looked like it threw up and hard charged into the thought that, 'Oh yeah, I will see those Yams'. And even though her friend sucked out loud and she smelled like Curry, he got a number. Current odds (from the bartender included) that he does NOT see those floppy tubes sit at about 20-1."

Congratulations Big Dreamer, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar".

Busted Face Boob Girl (Talking to Rob & Buddy): "Well, my BF's in DC and I went to Tulane!"

Adam (no where near us): "Oh yeah? I went to to Tulane Law!!!"

Rob & Buddy: (No words needed. Eyes rolled and we went back to watching sports)

Thoughts:

1: Food? We don't need no stinking food!

2: MOLE! MOLEY MOLE!!! MOOOOOLE!!!!!

3: He's in DC? Oh yeah, that'll work.

4: PETE!!!!!!!

5: Ashley's still hot.

6: Holy blonde in yellow.

7: It's cool Tommy O. I'll take the cab myself.

8: And then there was two.

==========================================================

Other Business: I think we did ok tab wise. I don't really know. I was plastered because we hit it harder than we have in awhile. We were thinking of starting a pool before hand. You know, $30 or so a head in a glass and roll from there. We'll see.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, July 2nd, 6:30 PM vs. WHYOS

I have no idea where they stand. I am hoping for a cupcake but it doesn't matter. We basically need to win out (4 games) for a legit shot at the post-season.

Note: The stats are still NOT updated. I'm going to need a half fucking day to figure it out.

Well, I'll do my best Phil Donahue to comfrot everyone in saying, 'Hey. Games like that are going to happen. It happened, lets move on."

Peace, love, and milky white breasts,

- James Buddy "Double The Meter" Villani

Game 10: A Wet Win

"What does he think he's doing?"

"Winning!"

Remember the classic "Aunt Emily" scene from Mr.Mom? They stop at Ron Richardson's (Caroline's boss) for a quick visit but they don't want to stay, so they claim their Aunt Emily is dying and they have to leave. But, Ron challenge's Jack's manhood with his corporate olympics and they decide to stay. However, it's Ron's challenge and Ron must win. Jack has other ideas and when Caroline is questioned by the snotty secretary when Jack sprints by about to prevail, she simply says with a shrug, "Winning".

With our own shrug and in crapola conditions, we kept our "winning" alive. We took the Big Easy to seven innings and took care of business. The difference is, Jack threw the race at the end to save face for his wife. We're not dropping shit for anyone. Babes included.

Note: I know the above picture has NOTHING to do with the scene and trust me, I am not pleased. The damn net had no cap of what I needed. But rest assured 'Cap subscribers, I will bring in my copy and update the pic accordingly.

Bears: 7

Big Easy: 4

Season: 5-4

==========================================================

The Positives:

Pitching: Same old same old but I love it. They scored some runs in the end but our hurler held strong. Not to mention the downpour from inning 5-7 made the ball feel like a rock. Not an easy task but Bennet "Throwfax" Beckenstein ** once again gave us more than a chance to prevail.

** Knickname courtesy of James "Jimmy V" Varian

Defense: In tough conditions we remained pretty much lockdown - especially in the infield. Two major mentions for Jose "Back Pedal" Lora's monster on-the-run grab in left field and Scotty "FAME!!!" Foster for his Alvin Ailey-esque leap of a grab at short that would have made any SportsCenter hi-lite real. Truly amazing.

==========================================================

The Negatives:

Hitting: I know, we amassed 7 runs but we owe a bit of thanks to the pitchers beautiful throwing error in the later part of the game. Also, we left 10 people on base. 10. That's a ton for softball game. We went ice cold (Scott, Pete, & Jose were the exception) 2-6 but we got away with it and that's ok - for this one. Conditions were tough as well.

==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, this is an honor of pure courage.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Scotty "Bob Fosse" Foster!!!!

"Rookie Scott Foster was manning SS wondering when his agent was going to call him when a sure fire run producing line drive was hit up the middle. With serious range the drive was snared out of mid air with a leap to rival Roy Scheider in "All That Jazz!" causing two grown men in the dugout to scream and almost kiss. Added to this was a tremendous fake to first nail the the guy at home play that well, just doesn't happen in normal beer leage ball. Top it off with 2 doubles and a walk at the plate (and some serious nut-ball antics at the bar) and the award was a lock.

Congratulations Twinkle Toes, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

==========================================================

It's time for another episode of "Overheard at the Bar".

Yeah right. Are you fucking serious? That was almost a week ago and a "writers retreat" at the coast in between. Instead, here's the noted from the writers meeting for this weeks content:

1: Why is Ken's girl looking to for a Latin lover?

2: Scott forgot his meds.

3: Scott must be drinking something serious. He thinks my GF is a playboy model or something.

4: Ashley's hot.

5: Fuck me. I don't want to leave.

6: BYOM (bring your own monkey) is not a highly recommended idea.

7: Rob, Slavin, and Jarret stayed. Gayness ensues.

==========================================================

Other Business: Just a quick note - if you plan on hitting the bar, leave enough for the tab. It seems there's a couple of people leaving more than some. I know it's $2 beer night but even though we get shots bought for us, we do pay for the others. $8 a shot x 10 guys or so adds up. Do the math. The only exception is Pete at this point because he bought a case of balls for I believe fifty some odd dollars - so we owe him. Let's all just try to be aware of this in the future.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, June 25th, 6:10 PM vs. Vanguard

These guys are good. We need to keep this thing rolling along for a shot at the playoffs.

Note: The stats are NOT updated. I messed them up pretty bad so it will take some time to repair. My apologies.

Well done last few weeks fellas. I think we're really starting to gel and the early season crap may be behind us.

In the words of Jack Butler, "You know what kids? Go get daddy's sneakers."

- James Buddy "I Suck Out Loud At Hitting" Villani

Game 8 & 9: Chartering A Split

"One Giant Step"

That, my friends, is exactly what last weeks double header was. One giant step in the right direction. We faced the number one team in the league with a pitcher that makes most people look foolish and took them down in game one, and if not for a managerial error, would have made them work a little harder for game two. Although we split, we learned a little something about ourselves: we are good.

So, like the groinal region in my pants when a beautiful set of round bodacious mammories pass me by, we are on the rise.

Game 1: Bears 6 Charter 2

Game 2: Bears 1 Charter 8

Season: 4-4

=========================================================

The Positives:

Pitching: I know, its getting old, but its true. Unreal job by Mr. Reliable the mound against some guys we all know can hit. However, facing number 44, they went cold in game 1 amassing a total of two runs. Game two was different, but not when Bennett was throwing. Once again its a huge part of what's making us competetive.

Defense: Stellar. Absolutely stellar. And even though we dropped game two, it wasn't due to defensive issues. And in case you were having an out of body experience and missed it, Jeff "Laser Beam" Fennelli gunned two guys stupidly trying for third from left. Absolute missles. On the second one, when the runner was arguing "he didn't make the tag!!!", blue kindly replied, "He didn't have to! You slid into the fucking ball", which was already firmly lodged in Pete Lie's glove. Insane.

Hitting: That's right kids, we hit the tri-fecta of positives. The big three! We belted the ball around real nicely in game 1 off no other than "Pedro". And not only was he a fireballing stud in the field, but at the plate Mr. Quiet once again made some serious noise. Amassing three hits and a total of 5 RBI's. And lets not forget our rookie SS Scotty "ACTION!" Foster who is not only batting in the high .500's, but lended a nice insurance BOMB that needed a damn passport. Monster shot.

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The Negatives:

Decision Making: Gentlemen, I let you down and I am sorry. We called in a back up pitcher and even after watching a basically unhittable hurler toss a gem in game one, I let him, not me, make the decision to let our back up start. That's not his fault at all. As the one running the show that's my responsibility and I kind of blew it. You should always go with the hot hand and I didn't. I understand he did show and I was appreciative, but when you're starter is on fire and says he's fine, you do what's right for the whole team and I didn't. There's no guarentee the result would have been different, but I never gave it that chance. Lesson learned.

=========================================================== And now its time for this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game" Award. Each week a team member is selected for stellar play in the field, on the bench, or quite possibly, in the bar. This can be heroic, game saving, or maybe just shatting ones self sliding into third.

This week's winner, for the second week in a row and a no-brainer, Jeff "Gun 'Em Down" Fennelli!!

"Minding his own business, and left field, two members of Charter got a little big for thier britches while rounding second. On their way to what seemed like a good idea, Jeff Fennelli unleashed Howitzer Power from deep left stopping said fools in their sliding tracks. When done with this, he took his bat and made Pedro cry while smacking him around like a kid who just stole money from his parents.

Congratulations Jeff, for week number two you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!

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Due to the delay of the cap, "Overheard At The Bar" will be running a shorter episode because the head writer drinks too much at the Shore on the weekends. His producers have asked him to try and cut it back, but in the end, the vodka and soda wins.

This weeks episode: "Cubbies in Love"

Buddy: "Um, don't look now, but I think Rob is trying to pick up that dude in the Cubs jersey."

Tommy O: "He is kind of cute. I am going to try and cock-block him!"

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NEXT GAME: Wednesday, June 18th, 6:15PM, Field #2 vs. The Big Easy

I don't know if they're big or easy (if they are, Ken is PSYCHED!!!!) but I don't really care. Lets roll right into this one the way we rolled into game 1...ready.

That was a great set last week boys. We faced a really good team and held ground. I saw some disbelief in their eyes and I loved it. There's no reason we can't continue - everyone else should be cake comparitavely. I like cake. Let's eat.

Yours in sand, booze, and boobs -

James Buddy "Don't Leave It Up To The Players" Villani

Game 7: Flushin' The 'Deck!

"Polar Opposite"

What a difference a week makes. From a bunch of bumbling buffoons in the field and not being able to hit a softball with an ironing board to perfectly executed defense and an offesive explosion that rivals my ass after half a bottle of BBQ sauce. Mind blowing.

After coming off a horrific loss we stepped in, put our heads together, and absolutely crushed The Upperdeckers. At the plate and in the field, it was 5 innings of Bears mastery. That's right, I said 5. Not because we fell apart after the fifth, but because even though they call it a "mercy", there was none.

Bears 16

Upperdeckers 0

Season: 3-3

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The Positives: (this may take some time)

Hitting: I mean, seriously. Every single one of us sans that clown in the cargo's got at least one hit. The whole team. We peppered them for 8 runs in the first inning alone and they didn't record an out until a fielders choice on the 10th hitter. Fine, so maybe the opponent wasn't the greatest pitcher in the league, but still, we hit like we were supposed to hit in that situation. The mentions are lengthy but most notably is Jeff "Silent Until 3 Natty's" Fennelli with a 5 RBI, 1 triple, 1 HR night and Jose "Listen to ME!" Lora with a wall clearing HR of his own. Hell, even I, your cellar dwelling 11th hitter notched a 2-3 with 2 RBI's. Rare.

Pitching: What can you say? See the score? That's right, #44 continues to pitch wondefully and tossed a shutout! As usual, he did his job and we finally added some run support to go with it. A lot. If we can keep that up, this ship will sail nicely. Superb job Mr. Studebaker - it was a pleasure to catch.

Defense: Absolute perfection. A bobble here and there? Sure? Did those turn into dumb mistakes or stupid throws? Not once. Smartest defense I have seen this team play all year. Great relays, cutoffs, people backing each other up and getting the lead runner out! I mean, our heads were actually on our shoulders and well out of our ass. Awesome.

The Negatives: (this will be much quicker)

Timing: What do I mean by this? There's a right time to argue calls, and there's a wrong time. Last night is a prime example of a wrong time. Face it, those umps were atrocious but we had the benefit of a large lead the whole time and trying to make points over and extra run or a silly overlooked out does nothing but make us look like world class jack-offs. We're better than that and we've been on the end of some slaughters and we know how we feel about "those" teams. Hell, I will go to the wall with you in a tight game. Hardcore. But sometimes, its just better to let it go.

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Ok, its time for "The Gieco Bears Player of the Game" award! Each week the 'Cap selects a player for the G-Pog, This Award is for an individual(s) who displays outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. It can be game saving, heroic, or maybe just shatting ones pants sliding into third.

And now, presenting this weeks winner...(drum roll..)

Jeffrey "Silent But Deadly" Fennelli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Mild mannered and soft spoken since day one, Jeff Fennelli decided it was time to make some noise. While quietly toiling around the .333 mark, Jeff said, "Listen to this bitch!" and proceeded to unload at the plate with a HR, a tripple, and a sac fly ammasing a total of 5 RBI's. A quiet man with a loud bat, you sir are a silent killer.

Congratulations Jeff! You are this weeks "The Gieco Bears Player of the Game"!

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Each week the Bears head to Brother Jimmy's on 80th & Amsterdam for some Ice cold $2 beers, shots of Patron, delicious wings and rib tips, an amazingly hot bartender, and God willing, unsuspecting young ladies willing to stroke the ego's of men who cling to the belief that they still "got it". During these endeavors, some interesting things can be "Overheard at the Bar".

ALERT: The writing staff at "OatB" is on hiatus simply because the head writer is just too stupid and gets too bombed to remember what the hell exactly went on. What he does know is that the pooch got majorly screwed this week and we, the Bears, who frequent the same place every damn Wednesday, didn't recieve one buy back until Adam had to ask. Now we'll have loogies in our rib tips every week. Please Ashley, come back. Soon.

================================================

Other Business: 'Taint none. Not that I can think of. I think all the deadbeats have paid up.

Next Game: Wednesday, June 4th, 6:10 PM, Field 2, vs. Red Wagon

Now, for you noob's who don't know, Red Wagon might be the squad we despise the most. One of their members (no pun intended) blatanly proclaimed to the team we just beat in the first round of the playoffs last year, "You lost to those guys??" And we were well within ear shot. He also asked one of our old players who happened to be of Indian (dot, not squaw) decent, "shouldn't you be playing crickett?" So please, lets bring whatever it is we brought last week to this one. This would be a satisfying win of epic proportions.

Well, that's all I got for this week. Fantastic job all around. Great mindset, great play, great times after. This is what its all about from here on in. Win or lose.

Carmel covered nipples for all...

- James Buddy "Hard Hittin' At #11" Villani

Game 6: Drubbed by Dub

    

"Sack the Fuck Up"

When I was about 15 I started baby sitting for some of my parents friends around our community. I didn't mind it too much then because it put a little money in my pocket and  I knew where most of the porn was in some of the homes. But I knew I didn't want to do it forever. At my age now I still don't. I also don't want kids. But boy, sometimes on Wednesday's I feel like that's exactly what I have and what I'm doing and quite frankly, I am tired of it. The incessant whining, the excuses, the in-fighting, and the "Wah! My feelings are hurt" because some members may try to push one another to not be a pitiful squad bullshit ends now. I swear to God. If you were looking to be coddled you're on the wrong team. I understand it's supposed to be fun but the "It's ok Bobby! You'll do better next time" after the 20th basic error shit is back in Little League. 

Sack the fuck up, stop sitting when you pee, and for Gods sake (and I can't stress this enough) LEAVE IT ON THE FIELD.

Bears 4

Dub Squad 10

Season: 2-3

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The Positives:

Pitching: Good to have 44 back on the mound. They didn't smack it around too bad and the hurling was what kept us at least close. Good job in some shitty conditions. Hopefully some run support is on the way.

Defense: I'm going to put this here despite the numerous errors just in case there's some leftover trauma in some from my opening salvo. See, I too can be nice. Now, the IF did a pretty nice job given the conditions. Other than a throwing error or two, I didn't notice any on the ground. Tommy "Busted Oakley's" O'Melia did a good job at 1b for our ailing JLew. And of course, I can't write this without mentioning the absolute web gem snare at third by Pete "Fuck You If You Think I'm Cooked" Lie. Ho-lee-shit. 

On the outfield we weren't as strong as we usually are. It wasn't absolutely horrendous by any stretch, but we definitely had some communication issues and below average (for us) play. Not the end of the world and we'll pick it up next week.

The Negatives:

Hitting: "You may run like Hayes but you hit like shit". Captain Lou was right. We are awful at the plate. Well, we were last night. A big nod to the back to back jacks by John "RUN IT OUT!!" Malosh and Scotty "I Know How To Play" Foster, and Tommy O's killer belly-floppin' out of gas triple. Other than that, not too much to brag about. Yes, their pitcher was pretty good, but that's no excuse. He K'd four people and we got a grand total of 6 hits - none of which happened until the third inning. We're in deep shit of we don't change that. I will be making some line up changes. It's necessary and please, no one take it personally for the love of Christ.

Excuses: Please stop. We're human. We're going to fuck up. And if we do, just "my bad" or something. If we were as good at softball as we are at making excuses, they'd already be engraving our names on the trophy. 

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Ok, its time for "The Gieco Bears Player of the Game" Award

Each week the 'Cap selects a player for the G-Pog, This Award is for an individual(s) who displays outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. It can be game saving, heroic, or maybe just shatting ones pants sliding into third. 

And now, presenting this weeks winner...(drum roll..)

Tommy "Get On My Belly!" O'Melia 

"Hitting 10th with a 0-2 count coming on hard whiffs, Tommy O dug in and fought off the opposing pitcher denying him strike three. After numerous foul balls into various lakes and streams, Tommy laced a rocket into left field! With as much speed as a Eight Belles after the Derby, Tommy trucked hard around the bags and literally laid into third base bagging the Bears first triple of the season! This effort, as well as fantastic blocking and tackling at the 1B position coveted the award. Congratulations Tommy, you are this weeks "Geico Bears Player of the Game!!!!"

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This weeks episode of "Overheard at the Bar" will not be seen tonight. In its place is random douche commercials, The View, and general women-like bitching. Stay tuned for next weeks episode when hopefully something worth watching will air.

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Other Business: Pay Ken. Next week, I start naming names. I'm not kidding.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, May 28th, 6:10PM, Field 2 vs. The Upperdeckers

I'm not even going to say it, but this should (I stress should) be like getting dumped by a very hot chick only to bang a Penthouse model the very next week. Enough said.

In summation: 

Did this whole recap sound overly negative? Was it fun? Well, that was my point. Because the negativity we have going right now has to stop. Its a bad vibe and I personally have had enough. We're all good guys, no one is under contract, and for Gods sake, it is still supposed to be fun. Let's just try to loosen up next week and take it easy. I'll be the first since my head explodes from the get go. I promise. If we keep acting like d-bags like its getting to be, I'm handing the reins over and Adam can finish running things for the year. No joke.

Hugs and kisses...

- James Buddy "13 Guys, 13 Cabs Is Unacceptable" Villani

Game 5: A Craptastic Adventure

"Taking That Ride"

So I'm on the train this morning and I am looking at this woman who's probably in her late 40's early 50's but she has spectacular round cans and they're not drooping. She was German so she probably smells a bit and her butch haircut was none too impressive but yet I couldn't stop thinking about and wondering what those orbs look like unsheathed. Not to mention what they must have been in their hayday and if, in fact, given the chance, would I go there.

Where am I going with all this? Nowhere. That's the whole point. And if our efforts and play continue like last nights debacle that's where we're headed. In the words of George Jetson, "Jane!! Stop this crazy thing!!!"

Bears 7

Here Dogs 19

Season: 2-2

===================================================

The Positives:

No one was seriously injured or died. Yup. That's all I got. If you can think of any...oh wait, the ump sold us two brand new balls for only $10. Let me know if anything else springs to mind.

The Negatives:

All of it: Sad but true. We were abysmal in pretty much every aspect of the game. Hitting, fielding, pitching (though solid effort from two people who don't normally play the position), fundamentals, throwing, the whole nine yards. We have to master the basics at least. We are absolutely killing ourselves with errors in the field and in the brain. I do it too so don't think I'm singling anyone out. It's going to be a LONG season if we don't figure something out soon. I know we're out to have fun but I also know no one wants to be a part of that every week. What's the point? Lecture over.

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Ok, it's time for "The Geico "Bears" Player of the Game" Award!!

 

Each week the 'Cap selects a player for the G-POG.

This award is for an individual(s) who displays

outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in 

the bar. It can be game saving, heroic, or maybe 

just shatting one's pants sliding into third. 

And now, presenting this weeks winner...(drum roll..)

The Wookie Girl at the bar!!!!!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, due to unspectacular play all around the only thing that gave us any pleasure for the evening was seeing Chewbacca's kid sister ordering drinks and hanging with her pals at the 'ol watering hole! An unprecedented act in G-POG history! Congratulations Sasquatch, you are this weeks "Geico Bears Player of the Game!!!"

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Each week the Bears head to Brother Jimmy's on 80th & Amsterdam for some Ice cold $2 beers, shots of Patron, delicious wings and rib tips, an amazingly hot bartender, and God willing, unsuspecting young ladies willing to stroke the ego's of men who cling to the belief that they still "got it". During these endeavors, some interesting things can be "Overheard at the Bar". 

This weeks episode: "Gillette Has Met It's Match"

After getting ready to wrap up a light night at the canteen, in walks a big 'ol group of women for our perusal. After assessing the situation, some quips were noted:

Buddy: "Oh Jesus. It looks like a pack of cubs from the Ugly Forrest."

Jarrett: "Holy Shit!! I kid you not! Look at the girl in the purples shirt! Did anyone see that?? Those are the hairiest fucking arms! I'm not joking!!" 

And my friends, he wasn't kidding. Before long, we were all completely fixated. If her body was blocked and all you saw were her arms grabbing beers, you would have sworn Big Foot just bellied up. We took turns going to the bathroom just to lay eyes on the phenomenon. So much so that a perfect stranger interjected between Rob G's and Tommy O's discussion on it (in the head) and ventured out for his very own eyeful of surreal patch. Whoa. 

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Other Business: Whatever slackers that haven't paid Ken need to do so before I start publicly calling you out!!!! 

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, April 21st, 7:30 PM, Field #2 vs. Dub Squad

You think they're not going to be gunning for us after our last meeting? Think again. They also beat Charter last night. We need an A game to put last night away and get us back over .500. Let's channel whatever the hell it was from the first meeting and get it done.

With a highly explosive backside to you all...

- James Buddy "I Can't Believe the Co-Pilot of the Millennium Falcon Was Here!" Villani   

Game 4: They Only Had Eight??

"You Can't Polish A Turd"

One of my all-time favorite sayings. I first heard it in 1986 when I was washing my $350 Ford Fiesta my mom (God rest her soul) bought me right after I got my license. This car was a right piece of shit and someone walking by uttered, "You know, you can't polish a turd". As insulting as it was, they were right.

Last night's game was a classic "Turd Polisher". On paper, we won walking away, but we all know we shined up a stinker and came pretty close to disaster. 13 of us. Eight of them. A tie game in the 5th. We did previal, but in the future, lets leave the polish in the shinebox.

Bears: 14 Upperdeckers: 6

Season: 2-1 The Positives:

Hitting: Except for innings 2 - 5 which featured five ground outs to first in a row, we opened up a 6 run barrage in the first which was fuelled by an absolute bomb courteous of Jimmy "My Vagina Hurts This Week" Varian. They could have had 15 guys out there and it wouldn't have mattered. A nod to John "Calm and Collected" Malosh who busted his slump Ortiz style and Pete "Come Stuff My Prius" Lie for his base clearer. Lastly, to the bottom of the order for sparking a seven run sixth. Anchors away boys! Bottom dwellers UNITE!!!!

No Fold Factor: Even though it got touchy we stayed with it and did what we had to do in order to win a game we were supposed to. This team hasn't always done that in the past and its a real positive move in the right direction.

The Negatives:

Defense: We were less than stellar. Way, way too many errors and just basic "don't do it" shit that quite frankly I was shocked to see. I'll chalk it up to an off night but there's no way in hell we are going to remain competetive if we play like that against fully staffed teams. Not a chance. Shake it off, bang a fatty, pray to some idol, whatever...just get it out of our sytems pronto.

Ok its time for.... "The Geico "Bears" Player of the Game" Award!!!!

Each week the 'Cap will select a player who wins the G-POG. This award is for an individual(s) who displays outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. It can be game saving, heroic, or maybe just shatting one's pants sliding into third. And now, presenting this weeks winner of the G-POG....(DRUM ROLL...) Adam "Take One For The Team" Slavin

Coming off a shit day at work and still barely able to flog the dolphin let alone throw a softball, Adam Slavin makes his way to the field, in uniform, to support his team. With sage wisdom, a "fuck you" or two for the manager, and some base coaching, he stayed off the field but in our hearts. One man, riding pine. Congratulations Adam, for the second time in a row, you are this weeks "Geico Bears Players of the Game!!!!!"

Each week The Bears head to Brother Jimmy's on 80th & Amsterdam for some ice cold $2 beers, shots of Patron, delicious wings and rib tips, an amazingly hot bartender, and God willing, tons of little monkeys crawling ALL over the place!!! During these endeavours, some interesting things can be.."Overheard at the Bar" .

This weeks episode: "Bennett's STUNNING Adventure"

Not one minute inside BJ's....

Bennett (turns to Rob and Pete): "That young lady behind the bar is STUNNING!"

Gotta love the rookies on the virgin trip. Classic.

Now, except for the two Sally's who bailed and the ever bar-elusive Johnny M, we had the enitre squad out. Absoultely amazing showing. Yeah, my asshole just returned to normal size from the ride up, but so what. Well worth it. And for those that had to leave, I gave up my ride for good reason. I HAD to watch what went down when three girls came in one of them (almost immediately) had her arms around our pitcher. Two cigarette trips later, said ladies bought us a round of shots and beers. Mr. Koufax was doing quite well for himself. Ah, the monkeys - they did come out late last night! Oh yeah, in the midst of all this, a certain newly aquired rather tall gentlemen seemed to be doing some sort of exploritory procedure on a blondes mouth whilst being wrapped in her legs. Hmmm.....

Want to hear more? Stick around next time. Other Business: Someone please tell me they have my sneakers and gray fleece. PLEASE?? I think I left them by, on, or near the bleachers and am hoping one of you may have grabbed them. Anyone? Bueller?

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, April 14th, 8:50 PM, Field #2 vs. Here Dogs

I am not even going to "scout" our next opponent. Who cares. We got away with one and a win is a win but were not a turd that needs polishing. We're the real deal, so next week, lets play like it.

Wings, tips, and turds to you all...

- James Buddy "Fuck It! I'm Staying!" Villani

A Fresh New Start: 2008 Begins

A fresh and clean start.

The Bears 2008 season has begun. Game 1: A bad box of douche that was tainted with kitty litter, it has been discarded and left behind us. Game 2: The cleanest trim you've ever smelled, tasted, and lusted after. Let's elaborate... After coming off a heartbreaking opening day loss we rebounded and responded with what was quite possibly the beast Bears game I was ever a part of. We faced a pitcher who has got to be one of the top three hurlers in this league and opened up a 5-0 lead on him. But then, we watched it slowly slip away. Inning by inning. One run here, 2 runs there. Dub Squad chipped away until they tied it all up in the bottom seventh. Overheard in their dugout: "We're winning this one!!!". Oh really? With two outs, winning run on 2nd, and a 2-2 count, their #6 hitter drilled one to right center field. What happened next will go down in the annals of Bears lure. Jose "I Bring Balls!" Lora charged the ball, scooped it up, and with an absolute cannon, blasted it towards home plate. The winning run had just rounded third when the ball bounced once and landed perfectly (no shit - an inch or two either direction and we're in deep shit) into the waiting glove of Adam "Are Those Cleats?" Slavin. The ensuing collision resembled two men trying to gang rape Pig Pen but the ball was held, the tag was made, and an emphatic punchout was administered. Jubilation followed. With a momentum swing rivaling that of the 300 Spartans finally getting their asses kicked, we stuck two runs on 'em in the top of the 8th, and newly acquired LHP Bennet Koufax closed the door on the game with a K! Balls.

Bears: 7 Dub Squad: 5

Season: 1-1

The Positives:

Pitching: As mentioned, our newly acquired hurler is turning out to be what we were looking for. 1 walk in two games and only allowed 5 runs against last nights very hard hitting team. Welcome aboard 44.

Defense: Despite one or two errors, we were pretty solid. They smacked the ball hard and all around the field and yet we held them to five runs total. The infield play was good but none better then Pete "The Merritt Parkway Is My Bitch" Lie with a diving snag and off the knees b-b gun down to end the inning. Web Gem indeed. And of course, we can't forget the game saving gunning out the winning run play of Jose and Adam. Fuck. Me.

The Negatives:

Hitting: In the last two games our hitting has been pretty abysmal when you look at the book. Granted, we hit some good shots last night that just got tracked down by some exceptional outfield play, but overall, we look shaky. I'll chalk it up to rustiness but it won't last long. I do believe we'll come around because we have some talented big dick swingin' sons of bitches on this squad. I've seen it. Not the dicks, the swings

Ok its time for.... "The Geico "Bears" Player of the Game" Award!!!!

Each week the 'Cap will select a player who wins the G-POG. This award is for an individual(s) who displays outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. It can be game saving, heroic, or maybe just shatting one's pants sliding into third. And now, presenting this weeks winner of the G-POG....(DRUM ROLL...) Adam Slavin AND Jose Lora!!!!!!!!

"Tied at 5-5 in the bottom of the 7th with the winning run on 2nd, the Bears were facing almost certain elimination. With a long hard line drive to right center, RCF Jose Lora put everything he had into a Baghdad bombing like precision throw to home plate. With the winning run charging hard, C Adam Slavin perfectly blocked the plate and held onto the ball as he was being ass reamed in the dirt. The result ended in the final out with no winning run scored, which led the Bears to an eventual win!!! Congratulations Adam and Jose, you are this weeks "Geico Bears Players of the Game!!!!!"

Each week The Bears head to Brother Jimmy's on 80th & Amsterdam for some ice cold $2 beers, shots of Patron, delicious wings and rib tips, an amazingly hot bartender, and God willing, tons of little monkeys crawling ALL over the place!!! During these endeavours, some interesting things can be overheard. This has spawned a new feature to the 'Cap! Welcome to "Overheard at the Bar" .

This weeks episode: "Dim sum and then some!"

Ken: "Buddy. You have to tell Jimmy V about "Take-Out"!

Buddy: "Really? Ok. So Jimmy, last year Ken hooks with this chick one week from the bar. She's got to be about 230. (Jimmy's eyes get real wide.) The next week, we're back as usual and Ken goes missing with his cell phone for a few. About ten minutes later in walks the same girl from the prior week, in to which I leaned over to Adam and stated, "oh dear. It looks like Ken ordered take-out". Worse part is, she lives RIGHT around the corner yet we get into a cab and he takes her all the way back to Hoboken!"

Jimmy V: "Good thing. He's got the room!" (referring to Ken's spacious digs)

This conversation then led to figuring out just how much said dish weighed. Apparently, I was off a few lbs.

Other Business: I have $20 left over form last nights carousing which will go towards three balls. Speaking of money, please make sure you settle your fees with Ken if you already haven't. Ken won't ask, so do it proactively. NEXT GAME: Wednesday, April 30th, 6:10 PM vs. Turner Sports We've seen them. We beat a MUCH better team last night. Let's take it to 'em while there guard is down because they have NO idea the high we're coming off of and the win we just posted!!! Great, great, great win last night! The first time in the history of this team we've been .500 so early. It feels fucking GREAT!!!! Yours in BBQ sauce slathered breasts - James Buddy "I'm Not The Best Weight Guesser" Villani