Game 11: Slaughterhouse 5-5

"Mama said there would be days like these."

And boy oh boy did we have one of those days.

Although we came in charged and ready, we face-planted something fierce. Worst of all it came at the hands of a squad that is riddled with some unpleaseantries. They just might have made it to Public Enemy #1, but we have yet to play the Copper-Queens, so the jury's out.

It was a bit of a stumble, but it was just one of those days. Top to bottom nothing really came together. Hey, it happens. Just remember, the same thing happened last year and when we met again, we thouroughly ousted them from the post season. Here's hoping history repeats itself.

Bears: 1

Vanguard: 9

Season: 5-5

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The Positives:

Although I can't really put anything emphatically in here I will just give a slight nod to the defense. Both IF and OF did a fairly good job keeping everything in front and the major standout was an incredible play at SS by Scotty "Seat Of The Pants" Foster. Did it save us? Nah. Was it pretty? Fuck yes.

Broken Up Shut-Out: We all know how I feel about this. Call it a moral victory but if there was any satisfaction out of that ordeal this was it. I know its not what you play for, but hey, if I'm ever out-matched in a fight with a 6' 4'" guido, guess what? I'm punching him in the cock.

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The Negatives:

Hitting: Uh, we sucked. There's three people with multiple hits and I am one of them. That's sad because, well, I am about as good at hitting as I am at performing triple bypass surgery. Nod to Tommy "Houdini" O'Melia for notching a 3-3 performance. Unfortunately we never plated one of those hits.

Base Coaching: Just calling myself out here. I made a decision that probably wasn't the best given the situation. I was admittedly playing to break up a shut-out instead of leaving bases loaded with our #5 hitter on board (who subsequently roped a ball the next time up). I was swayed by the two outs and the fact we had done jack squat the prior six innings. I will think twice about that in the future realizing I might have killed a potential rally.

Errors/Overthrows We made a couple of errors but that will happen. More importantly, I think we should hold on to the ball more unless we're absolutely sure we have a play. There's no need to give extra bases to anyone - especially on a night when we're producing next to nothing at the plate.

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And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, this is an honor on par with the Purple Heart.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Adam "Never Seeing Those Cans" Slavin!!!

**This weeks G-POG eminates from that other playing field: The bar. Due to the fact that nothing really good happened on the actual diamond, Slavin turned in a masterful performance at the watering hole!**

"After five 16 oz. Natty's and some sweet lovin' Blackhaus, Adam "I Went To Tulane" Slavin made a masterful move on a young woman when all hope was lost with the rest of his teammates. He embraced the fact that her neck looked like it threw up and hard charged into the thought that, 'Oh yeah, I will see those Yams'. And even though her friend sucked out loud and she smelled like Curry, he got a number. Current odds (from the bartender included) that he does NOT see those floppy tubes sit at about 20-1."

Congratulations Big Dreamer, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

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It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar".

Busted Face Boob Girl (Talking to Rob & Buddy): "Well, my BF's in DC and I went to Tulane!"

Adam (no where near us): "Oh yeah? I went to to Tulane Law!!!"

Rob & Buddy: (No words needed. Eyes rolled and we went back to watching sports)

Thoughts:

1: Food? We don't need no stinking food!

2: MOLE! MOLEY MOLE!!! MOOOOOLE!!!!!

3: He's in DC? Oh yeah, that'll work.

4: PETE!!!!!!!

5: Ashley's still hot.

6: Holy blonde in yellow.

7: It's cool Tommy O. I'll take the cab myself.

8: And then there was two.

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Other Business: I think we did ok tab wise. I don't really know. I was plastered because we hit it harder than we have in awhile. We were thinking of starting a pool before hand. You know, $30 or so a head in a glass and roll from there. We'll see.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, July 2nd, 6:30 PM vs. WHYOS

I have no idea where they stand. I am hoping for a cupcake but it doesn't matter. We basically need to win out (4 games) for a legit shot at the post-season.

Note: The stats are still NOT updated. I'm going to need a half fucking day to figure it out.

Well, I'll do my best Phil Donahue to comfrot everyone in saying, 'Hey. Games like that are going to happen. It happened, lets move on."

Peace, love, and milky white breasts,

- James Buddy "Double The Meter" Villani

Game 10: A Wet Win

"What does he think he's doing?"

"Winning!"

Remember the classic "Aunt Emily" scene from Mr.Mom? They stop at Ron Richardson's (Caroline's boss) for a quick visit but they don't want to stay, so they claim their Aunt Emily is dying and they have to leave. But, Ron challenge's Jack's manhood with his corporate olympics and they decide to stay. However, it's Ron's challenge and Ron must win. Jack has other ideas and when Caroline is questioned by the snotty secretary when Jack sprints by about to prevail, she simply says with a shrug, "Winning".

With our own shrug and in crapola conditions, we kept our "winning" alive. We took the Big Easy to seven innings and took care of business. The difference is, Jack threw the race at the end to save face for his wife. We're not dropping shit for anyone. Babes included.

Note: I know the above picture has NOTHING to do with the scene and trust me, I am not pleased. The damn net had no cap of what I needed. But rest assured 'Cap subscribers, I will bring in my copy and update the pic accordingly.

Bears: 7

Big Easy: 4

Season: 5-4

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The Positives:

Pitching: Same old same old but I love it. They scored some runs in the end but our hurler held strong. Not to mention the downpour from inning 5-7 made the ball feel like a rock. Not an easy task but Bennet "Throwfax" Beckenstein ** once again gave us more than a chance to prevail.

** Knickname courtesy of James "Jimmy V" Varian

Defense: In tough conditions we remained pretty much lockdown - especially in the infield. Two major mentions for Jose "Back Pedal" Lora's monster on-the-run grab in left field and Scotty "FAME!!!" Foster for his Alvin Ailey-esque leap of a grab at short that would have made any SportsCenter hi-lite real. Truly amazing.

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The Negatives:

Hitting: I know, we amassed 7 runs but we owe a bit of thanks to the pitchers beautiful throwing error in the later part of the game. Also, we left 10 people on base. 10. That's a ton for softball game. We went ice cold (Scott, Pete, & Jose were the exception) 2-6 but we got away with it and that's ok - for this one. Conditions were tough as well.

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And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, this is an honor of pure courage.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Scotty "Bob Fosse" Foster!!!!

"Rookie Scott Foster was manning SS wondering when his agent was going to call him when a sure fire run producing line drive was hit up the middle. With serious range the drive was snared out of mid air with a leap to rival Roy Scheider in "All That Jazz!" causing two grown men in the dugout to scream and almost kiss. Added to this was a tremendous fake to first nail the the guy at home play that well, just doesn't happen in normal beer leage ball. Top it off with 2 doubles and a walk at the plate (and some serious nut-ball antics at the bar) and the award was a lock.

Congratulations Twinkle Toes, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

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It's time for another episode of "Overheard at the Bar".

Yeah right. Are you fucking serious? That was almost a week ago and a "writers retreat" at the coast in between. Instead, here's the noted from the writers meeting for this weeks content:

1: Why is Ken's girl looking to for a Latin lover?

2: Scott forgot his meds.

3: Scott must be drinking something serious. He thinks my GF is a playboy model or something.

4: Ashley's hot.

5: Fuck me. I don't want to leave.

6: BYOM (bring your own monkey) is not a highly recommended idea.

7: Rob, Slavin, and Jarret stayed. Gayness ensues.

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Other Business: Just a quick note - if you plan on hitting the bar, leave enough for the tab. It seems there's a couple of people leaving more than some. I know it's $2 beer night but even though we get shots bought for us, we do pay for the others. $8 a shot x 10 guys or so adds up. Do the math. The only exception is Pete at this point because he bought a case of balls for I believe fifty some odd dollars - so we owe him. Let's all just try to be aware of this in the future.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, June 25th, 6:10 PM vs. Vanguard

These guys are good. We need to keep this thing rolling along for a shot at the playoffs.

Note: The stats are NOT updated. I messed them up pretty bad so it will take some time to repair. My apologies.

Well done last few weeks fellas. I think we're really starting to gel and the early season crap may be behind us.

In the words of Jack Butler, "You know what kids? Go get daddy's sneakers."

- James Buddy "I Suck Out Loud At Hitting" Villani

Game 8 & 9: Chartering A Split

"One Giant Step"

That, my friends, is exactly what last weeks double header was. One giant step in the right direction. We faced the number one team in the league with a pitcher that makes most people look foolish and took them down in game one, and if not for a managerial error, would have made them work a little harder for game two. Although we split, we learned a little something about ourselves: we are good.

So, like the groinal region in my pants when a beautiful set of round bodacious mammories pass me by, we are on the rise.

Game 1: Bears 6 Charter 2

Game 2: Bears 1 Charter 8

Season: 4-4

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The Positives:

Pitching: I know, its getting old, but its true. Unreal job by Mr. Reliable the mound against some guys we all know can hit. However, facing number 44, they went cold in game 1 amassing a total of two runs. Game two was different, but not when Bennett was throwing. Once again its a huge part of what's making us competetive.

Defense: Stellar. Absolutely stellar. And even though we dropped game two, it wasn't due to defensive issues. And in case you were having an out of body experience and missed it, Jeff "Laser Beam" Fennelli gunned two guys stupidly trying for third from left. Absolute missles. On the second one, when the runner was arguing "he didn't make the tag!!!", blue kindly replied, "He didn't have to! You slid into the fucking ball", which was already firmly lodged in Pete Lie's glove. Insane.

Hitting: That's right kids, we hit the tri-fecta of positives. The big three! We belted the ball around real nicely in game 1 off no other than "Pedro". And not only was he a fireballing stud in the field, but at the plate Mr. Quiet once again made some serious noise. Amassing three hits and a total of 5 RBI's. And lets not forget our rookie SS Scotty "ACTION!" Foster who is not only batting in the high .500's, but lended a nice insurance BOMB that needed a damn passport. Monster shot.

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The Negatives:

Decision Making: Gentlemen, I let you down and I am sorry. We called in a back up pitcher and even after watching a basically unhittable hurler toss a gem in game one, I let him, not me, make the decision to let our back up start. That's not his fault at all. As the one running the show that's my responsibility and I kind of blew it. You should always go with the hot hand and I didn't. I understand he did show and I was appreciative, but when you're starter is on fire and says he's fine, you do what's right for the whole team and I didn't. There's no guarentee the result would have been different, but I never gave it that chance. Lesson learned.

=========================================================== And now its time for this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game" Award. Each week a team member is selected for stellar play in the field, on the bench, or quite possibly, in the bar. This can be heroic, game saving, or maybe just shatting ones self sliding into third.

This week's winner, for the second week in a row and a no-brainer, Jeff "Gun 'Em Down" Fennelli!!

"Minding his own business, and left field, two members of Charter got a little big for thier britches while rounding second. On their way to what seemed like a good idea, Jeff Fennelli unleashed Howitzer Power from deep left stopping said fools in their sliding tracks. When done with this, he took his bat and made Pedro cry while smacking him around like a kid who just stole money from his parents.

Congratulations Jeff, for week number two you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!

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Due to the delay of the cap, "Overheard At The Bar" will be running a shorter episode because the head writer drinks too much at the Shore on the weekends. His producers have asked him to try and cut it back, but in the end, the vodka and soda wins.

This weeks episode: "Cubbies in Love"

Buddy: "Um, don't look now, but I think Rob is trying to pick up that dude in the Cubs jersey."

Tommy O: "He is kind of cute. I am going to try and cock-block him!"

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NEXT GAME: Wednesday, June 18th, 6:15PM, Field #2 vs. The Big Easy

I don't know if they're big or easy (if they are, Ken is PSYCHED!!!!) but I don't really care. Lets roll right into this one the way we rolled into game 1...ready.

That was a great set last week boys. We faced a really good team and held ground. I saw some disbelief in their eyes and I loved it. There's no reason we can't continue - everyone else should be cake comparitavely. I like cake. Let's eat.

Yours in sand, booze, and boobs -

James Buddy "Don't Leave It Up To The Players" Villani