Last Call! (Week 8 Make Up): Bears Last Stand

"Not Done Yet!"

Not by a long shot.

Despite the fact that losing tonight sucked big donkey nuts on a pride level, it did not matter in the long run. I am not just saying that just to ease the loss. I promise. It's true. As much as winning tonight would have been a huge notch in the belt of Bears history, it ultimately does not matter.

Hang your heads high and forget it. It is officially a whole new season.

Bears 10

Coppersmith's: 19

========================================================== The Positives:

Tough category when getting beat by nine runs so its hard to separate it individually. Therefore, for this section and "The Negatives", I refuse to do so. I'll cap them both in the same breath and we'll leave it at that - simply because, like the game itself, it doesn't matter and it's time to focus and look ahead.

Overall, it wasn't a bad game. Our opponent, unfortunately and despite their some of their douche-baggery, is in first place for a reason: they can flat out hit. And they did. Every time we came up to bat, we scored runs but the math ended up lopsided - they would come back, re-earn those runs, and then some. We had them 13- 10 in the bottom of the sixth with a good shot at a major upset, but like they had done all game, they answered with six more runs to make our ultimate goal a little harder. Unfortunately, we came up short - but not without a damn good fight.

And so it was. We're still playing and the only thing that game did was bruise our ego's a little and help decide our 1st round playoff opponent. In the scheme of things, I'll take it.

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And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"!

This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, winning this makes a Purple Heart recipient look like a fucking Boy Scout badge.

And now, presenting this weeks winner...Tommy "Re-Tool My Vacation" O'Melia!!!

"Despite the fact that the final Bears game of the season meant nothing more than the skipper wanting to shove the hopeful win down the throats of the biggest cock gobbler's in the league, Thomas "There For You" O'Melia, packed is Jeep (complete with disapproving girlfriend) for the Adirondacks and headed to the contest. Shrugging off dirty looks from the dugout and a 19 - 10 drubbing, he solidly held his ground in the field and at the plate, and quickly (very quickly) hit the road immediately after."

Congratulations future tent fucker, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

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It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar

Thoughts:

1: A meter RIGHT out front!

2: Jeff's not done just yet.

3: Ken missed cans.

4: Slavin: Can importer, bitch ass early ditcher.

5: Back-to-back shots TWICE is not a good idea. I hate you all.

6: Yup, we're going "kitty-corner".

7. What happened post "The Skipper's" departure?

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Other Business: PLAYOFF TIME!

NEXT GAME: TBA. It's playoff seeding time. I love that I just wrote that!

Boys - let the past be just that. Sure, winning last night would have been fantastic, but it didn't happen. So what. What's important is that losing didn't sink us and now it's time to look ahead and realize that the next game is what matters most. Our record doesn't mean Jack shit right now because we're one of the six that earned the right to play in the post season.

Let's fuck 'em up...

- James Buddy "I'm hittin' baby!" Villani

Games 13 & 14: A Big & Easy "Turner" Around!!!

"Nice pair!"

And what a pair it was! Were they huge? You bet they were! Were they sublime? Oh yeah. Delicious in the end? To the last drop! Did you want to revisit them many times and often? If only we could.

Am I talking about those well sculpted orbs in the photo above? Nah, I'm talking a sweep to put ourselves in the playoffs! PLAYOFFS? Did You say PLAYOFFS???? Damn right I did, Jim. Damn. Right.

Game 1:

Bears: 5

Big Easy: 1

Game 2:

Bears: 10

Turner: 5

Season: 8-5 ========================================================== The Positives:

Pitching: Spectacular. In both games but more than ever in Game 1 which looks pretty much like this: 3 hits, no walks, 1 run scored. And that run came uber cheaply in top of the 6th inning. Game 2 wasn't as easy, but neither were the hitters. Yet, #44 still held them scoreless from the bottom of the fourth on while the next category in this section turned it on. Bennett, you are a very big part of this years success.

Hitting: Pretty decent but more so in game 2. Game 1 was a bit of a struggle but a quick tip to John "Where I Left Off" Malosh for hitting his third dinger in a row (in 2 games) and getting us a quick jump in the lead colum. A few insurance runs in the fourth but still fairly cold. However, enough to get the job done. Game 2 is where the the sack needed to be lifted and it was. And it came late, but it came. Big nod to Scotty "My Left Foot" Foster for a 5 RBI night and a Kirk Gibson esque injured HR. And as much as I don't like tooting my own horn, it all started out of the gate with a 2 out RBI single from a ticked off manager. I guess I owe it to that pickle hugger from Coppersmith's for walking by during my at bat and being the bag of vagina cleaning vinegar water he is.

Defense: We won a double header, so fucking up wasn't a big issue. Major, major acknowledgement to Jarrett "I'm Ending This Fucking Game" Lew for the streaking put away out on a lazy (and NOT easy) fly ball in foul territory. Pretty much summed up our efforts right there. B.A.L.L.S. ==========================================================

The Negatives:

The Little Things: I yelled a teammate for making a mental mistake on the base path's and then I went right on and did the same thing myself. We're human. We fuck up. But we're in the post-season after next week and "the little things" can be the difference between going home and bringing it all home. So lets get each other's back, talk to each other, and listen to each other. We have one common goal in all of this: Keep advancing. ==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, winning this makes the Nobel Prize winner look like the retard who brought the volcano to the 3rd grade science fair.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Bennett "Throwfax" Beckenstein!!!

"He arrived on a cool April afternoon after being recruited on a website usually reserved for pedophiles and someone looking for a used rib spreader. Regardless, he weathered the competition and a new Bear was born. As the season comes to a close we were faced with two games that were of utmost importance. With a quick smoke (in the dugout) and some dazzling work, #44 posted 14 innings of softball magic. No walks, 6 runs, and a combined 9, yes, 9 innings of shut-out ball."

Congratulations to the first denizen of the West Village, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

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It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar".

Rob: "Holy shit. Look how short her skirt is! That girl DEFINITELY came out to do some Bear huntin'!!

Buddy: (Chokes on Natty Light)

Thoughts:

1: FENNELLI!!!!! (to the tune of "NORM!!!!")

2: Just who is going to see THOSE cans?

3: Rob G. picks up right where he leaves off.

4: Ok? Who was the genius who started spilling our ages? Nice move.

5: Lisa was good. We can return to 80th if 31st and Lex doesn't pan out.

6: Fuck you A-Rod. Still. Just for the hell of it you Kabbalah douche whistle.

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Other Business: I got none again.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, July 23rd, 7:30 PM vs. Red Wagon

**LAST WEEKS RANT**

I hope you're all still reading. For those that missed it, the Red Wagon band of douche is still in full force. Upon leaving last night they asked if we had won or not. When we said we did, they gave a "Ooh, the Bears won. Yay!!" like they were talking to a three year old. It was condesending and they can fuck themselves. You have NO idea the intesity I am personally bringing with me to that game and I ask for the same from each and every one of you. No joke. I don't remember ever wanting to lay waste to a team so bad in my entire life. And when it's over, we are going to give them their little "yay the Bears won" clap. Right in their dejected fucking faces. Who's with me?

I still feel the same way. Let's end this on a high note. Not only will beating them bring us full unbridled joy, it will also have a big determination on our playoff draw. At 8-5 we are tied for 5th with Turner. We win, they lose, we get Vanguard first round. Now doesn't that sound awesome??

- James Buddy "4-7 Are You Fucking Kidding??" Villani

Game 12: Wipin' Out Whyos

"Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"

And smoke it hard.

Excellent way to bounce back after last weeks beating. Some of the smartest softball we've played in a long, long time. Put ourselves in a nice position for the few remaining weeks.

From none of it coming together to all of it working in the span of seven days. Goofy little game this softball can be.

Bears: 15

Whyos: 6

Season: 6-5 ========================================================== The Positives:

Pitching: Spectacular in this one. #44 stuff was dancing and the fastball was indeed fast. They had some tick-tacky hits and a few legit swats, but for the most part, nothing. Great location too.

Hitting: Wow. Except for yours truly (big shocker) the book is inked to all hell. Pete L (3-4), Scotty F (3-4), and whatever the hell woke John "I Know How To Hit" Malosh up with his 2-4 (two of them HR's) night, I personally thank you. But boy oh boy, how about that #15?! 4 for fucking 4 including 2 HR's, one being over the wall for a Grand Slam! Yeah, that's right, I'm tlakin' about you Jose "Feelin' Real Good!" Lora.

Defense: Certainly wasn't anything negative that I saw. Not enough to put it down in that category. The runs they did score they earned. We pretty much kept everything in front and the web gem "on my ass" plays from Scotty F are becoming commonplace. That's not a complaint! ========================================================== The Negatives: I like it when this column is small. See above. ==========================================================

And now it's time for the Bears "Geico Player of the Game Award"! This award is given to the player or players that show outstanding play in the field, at the plate, or in the bar. Whether it be heroic, game saving, or shatting one's pants sliding into third, this award is akin to saving a buddies life in combat.

And now, presenting this weeks winner... Jose "Grand Salami" Lora!!!

"Calm, cool, collected, and riding along side Coach on the 1 train, #15 uttered the words, 'I'm feeling really good'. Just how good no one really knew until he stepped up in the 5 hole to a bases loaded 1st inning. With a delicious swing that would have had A-Rod leaving Madonna, the brand new clincher said hello to 11th avenue. Feeling good indeed. It didn't stop there. Sandwiched in between another home run was a double and a single. Top that with manning a glaringly blinding RF (Hey, Charter's not putting up with it!) and this puppy was a no brainer."

Congratulations my Dominican Hammer, you are this weeks Bears "Geico Player of the Game"!!!

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It's time for another episode of "Overheard/Thoughts at the Bar".

Buddy: "Rob's 43."

Fennelli: (No words. Mouth agape. For quite some time)

Thoughts:

1: Holy shit! John Malosh???!!!!

2: Slavin imports yams. Damn nice yams.

3: Rob G. Silent killer.

4: We're follwing Ashley to 31st and Lex.

5: The middle one was hot.

6: Fuck you A-Rod.

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Other Business: I got none.

NEXT GAME: Wednesday, July 9th, 7:30 PM vs. Red Wagon

I hope you're all still reading. For those that missed it, the Red Wagon band of douche is still in full force. Upon leaving last night they asked if we had won or not. When we said we did, they gave a "Ooh, the Bears won. Yay!!" like they were talking to a three year old. It was condesending and they can fuck themselves. You have NO idea the intesity I am personally bringing with me to that game and I ask for the same from each and every one of you. No joke. I don't remember ever wanting to lay waste to a team so bad in my entire life. And when it's over, we are going to give them their little "yay the Bears won" clap. Right in their dejected fucking faces. Who's with me?

I'm fukcing fired up and pissed.

Happy fourth girls.

Eat shit CopperQueers,

- James Buddy "Shot 'O Sauce" Villani