For the Bradford Family, it might have been. Personally, I think that whole retarded clan could have been reduced by a kid or two but then what would they have called it?
Now, I know my reference may confuse some of the younger generation on our roster, but for those that "get it", it's absolutely perfect. Eight was enough for those California living mongrels but it sure the hell wasn't for us. Especially facing the best team in the league and while we're hanging on by the nip of our foreskins for a playoff spot. Let's just say the timing was left than perfect. And so it went, without a second baseman and three outfielders -
Bears - 7
Charter - 15
Record - 6-6-2
The Positives:
Hitting: Yes, believe it or not this was a positive. Especially for Adam "Slippers" Slavin and Jarret "He Really Speaks!" Lew. Tremendous at bats for the both of you facing arguably the best pitcher in the whole league. And the hits came at perfect times and they kept us respectable. Cap tip to John "Dart League Drunkard" Malosh for the absolute bomb in the last inning. Pedro was NOT pleased. Fuck 'em.
Pitching: Again, even though they posted 15 runs on us a lot of it was due to being short handed. Thanks to Ken "I'm Hungry. Always." Tsang for getting us started and big ups to Jason "Lord Of The (lost) Rings" Jones for taking over in the fourth. Not only did it keep us respectable it also gave us nine - which made a HUGE difference.
The Negatives:
Can't really break it down when you field a team of eight for four innings and nine for the remainder. It's just not conducive to winning and the "extra outs" we gave them because we couldn't be in all places at once set off a domino effect of other problems that led to the proverbial 7 run "Bears Inning" in the second. Not. Good. And it leads me to this:
NEW BEARS REFERENDUM:
From here forward - if you have NOT told me you are in by Tuesday morning your spot will be filled by a sub/scrub. If for some reason that changes, or if you show up without confirmation, said sub/scrub will start over you. Period. End of Story.
The above is to avoid last night ever happening again. We are playing the #1 team in the league, we are FIGHTING (and in a few paragraphs, you'll see just how hard we're fighting) to make a playoff spot, and we have eight show? Are you fucking serious??? I understand we have lives and sometimes that gets in the way - but I need to be told and NOT on the day of.
Bar Attendance: Top notch. Showing up at 8:10, leaving much later. And for the love of God, can we please stop drifting into Jakes AFTER Brither Jimmy's?? Rob and Ken = Evil. Oh, I hear there's a rumor that we may be getting a few more to join next week? I will believe it when I see it.
Moving on...
(In Announcer Voice:)
"Short handed and short on recent wins, the Bears trotted barely enough out to cover the dusty bowls of Clinton Dewitt. But one area, left field, was covered like no other. Jose "Fuck Golden Tee" Lora tracked and trailed the ICBM's from home plate - one of which made to to the opposite field dug out - like a Reagan era satellite. The sun was bright, the weather was hotter than the balls of an ape hanging out by the equator, but Jose was hotter. Congratulations Jose, you are this weeks "Bears Geico Player Of The Game"!!!!!!!!!
(racous applause)
Other Business:
Remember what I said about fighting? Do you? Well, that was putting it mildly. I was sent the standings as this missive was being penned and here's the 5-6-7 and 8 teams:
5. Pirates: 7-8
6. Here Dogs: 6-6-1
7. Bears: 6-6-2
8. TNT: 6-6-2
That's right girls - as of right now, we are NOT in the playoffs. And guess what? We play the Here Dogs a double header this Wednesday. Yes, that's correct. Win and we're in. If not, syonarra to a season loaded with potential. Think we can get at LEAST 10?
NEXT GAME:
Wednesday, August 8th, 5:50 PM, Field One - DOUBLE HEADER
Please, for the love of God, let me know as soon as humanly possible so I can field 10. This, as far as I am concerned, is it and I really want a playoff shot.
In closing I just want to say that everyone that played last night did so with a ton of heart. And even though we lost it was a respectable one and I strongly feel at even strength with our best out there we beat them. I'd like another shot in round 1. How about you?
Yours in shitty beer pong performance,
James Buddy "Rib Tip Turds" Villani
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